The Club

While waiting for my appointment on Thursday  I thought I might share a tiny nugget of a insight, for what that's worth, into our common human experience. I know, sounds deep, don't get your expectations up to high.

In our short time together my wife and I have joined a lot of clubs. These are special clubs. The kind of clubs that until you join, you have no idea the size of the membership. The kind of clubs that don't really send invitations but you're welcomed in with open arms. The kind of clubs that are formed not by religious affiliation, political party, social status, or any particular cause. The kind of clubs that bring complete strangers together in a bond that most times needs no words, clubs based on one of our basic human experiences - true empathy in the face of pain.

My wife and I joined the infertility club a few years into our marriage. Shortly after that we joined the miscarriage club. This was followed by the incredible privilege (and I truly mean privilege with 200% sincerity) of joining the adoption club. When we were given the gift of a biological child we joined the parents of a special needs child club.

By calling all of these experiences a club I certainly don't mean to minimize any of these things in any way. The common thread in all these things truly has been the chance to experience the sadness that life can bring but also the love and support of those closest to us, and those we hardly even know who somehow know exactly how we feel. Pain and sadness are a part of life, whether we like it or not it reshapes us. We have a saying in our household, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you tired.." In the midst of our struggle we realize all the other people around us that have gone through the same situations. We are allowed the chance to reach out to other "new members" because we've been there before. The compassion and empathy that my wife and I have given and been given in all these trials has probably only just begun to be realized. Which brings us to our most recent enrollment.

I guess when it all comes down to it I see my membership into the cancer club the same way I see all our other memberships. It is part of who I am and who I will always be. Even after the cancer is gone, I will always have been a cancer patient. I will have another experience that I can point to and say, "See, we got through that, too". So, I don't know if any of you who read this are going through something, maybe you've got your own club you're in and you don't think you have any other members. Can I be so bold as to say, chances are there are more members than you think. While it may suck to be a member of some clubs, my hope for all of us is that we use our membership to be there for each other in whatever way we can.

Anywho, that's my random thoughts as I sit here. I'll post again after Thursday's appointments, even though I won't have any results until the 2nd.

Peace,
Ben